It Was Great When It All Began...

on Mar 20, 2011  

The year is lost in the mists of obscurity, but it was likely some time in the early 1980's. I was your typical high school nerd, hanging out with the freaks, as it were. But I'd never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Honestly, it was a case of not knowing what I was missing. My friends kept telling me I had to go, but I just never worked up the enthusiasm. That changed one Saturday night when I got a phone call from Lola (yes, her real name) saying that they were coming to pick me up and we were all going to do something.

"What's the plan?" I asked.

"We're still discussing that. Just be ready in an hour," she told me.

Okay, easy enough. Black pants? Check. T-shirt with Japanese writing on it? Check. Black button-up overshirt? Check. Hair like Phil Oakey from The Human League? Check! I was ready to go!

Right on time, the car arrived, and I hopped in. I immediately knew something was off, because there was nobody else in the car yet, and I was rarely the first picked up (just a side effect of where I lived). Before I could say anything, a pair of handcuffs was produced, and in a move that would have made any cop proud, Lola placed one cuff around my wrist and the other around the door handle. I was trapped. Like a rat. Okay, not like a rat, but I like saying that.

"It's about time you saw Rocky," she said, "and since I know you'd probably not want to go if we asked, we're kidnapping you. You have no choice. Just go with it."

Damn. The handcuffs were real, too. And this was before I knew how to get out of handcuffs. I was well and truly trapped, and guessed I'd have to make the best of it.

We picked up the rest of the group, made our way down the highway to Pismo Beach, parked, and under heavy guard I was handcuffed to my escort and led to the theater where I had no idea what was to become of me.

Next time - my devirginization.