"Castle Transylvania"
Music by The Eagles ("Hotel California")
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque
(Official Cast Theme Song - Castle Transylvanians, Towson, MD)

*****

On a dark Denton highway, confetti in my hair
Words of Richard Nixon rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, saw motorcycle headlights
My head grew heavy and my tire grew flat
I had to stop for the night
There he stood in the doorway, I heard the castle bell
And I was thinking to myself,
"This could be a hunting lodge, or this could be Hell"
Then he lifted a finger and he showed me the way
There were voices in the convention hall, I thought I heard them say:

Welcome to the Castle Transylvania
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place), such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Castle Transylvania
Any time of year (any time of year) Frank'll find your rear!

His mind is Frederick's twisted, he got the Steve Reeve knee bends
He got a lot of pretty boys and girls that he calls friends
How they dance to the Time Warp, sweet transvestite sweat
Some fuck to remember, some fuck to forget
So I called to the butler, "Please bring me my wine"
And he said "We haven't had any virgins here since 1989"
But still those voices are calling are calling from far away
Shake you up in the middle of a fuck just to hear them say

Welcome to the Castle Transylvania
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place), such a lovely face
And living it up at the Castle Transylvania
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise) fishnets on your thighs

Roaches in the ashtray; it was pot, Scott deduced
And he said "We are all just prisoners here until we get transduced
In Frank-N-Furter's chambers Eddie was the feast
He stabbed him with a steel icepick but we just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember I was running for the door
I ducked for cover as the house flew back to the place it was before
"Relax," said the no-neck, "We are insects on Earth's face
You can search for meaning all you like
Lost in time and lost in space!"

*****